To bring up a child in the way he should go, travel that way yourself once in a while.
~ Josh Billings ~
Raising a child is not as easy as it seems. it requires a lot of hard work, your time, and commitment. Along with the essence of love and care.
In today’s era, where we see different happenings in the world. Be it good or bad. Mostly we are concerned about the ethical and cultural values which we are going to infuse in our children.
Always remember, a child doesn’t always learn everything from yourself. Though it’s a fact that home is the first place where the teaching begins for a child. And the mother is supposed to be the first person from which a child learns.
What I believe, is that you should teach your child about ethics and values, what is good or bad, right or wrong, and then let them go and explore the world. Don’t set them too free also, keep a check on them.
In today’s blog, we are going to share some of the tested tips and guides from experienced parents on raising well-behaved and confident children.
1. Encourage them to speak the truth – Honesty is the best policy
You should always give your child the confidence to speak the truth. Do not be very harsh with them if you find them doing wrong. Because what usually happens that the kids start hiding things from their parents from the fear of being scolded or punished.
So you need to take out that fear from them in the very first place and win their confidence. Give them space to speak their heart out. To share the things with you. You have to understand their physic and become their friend to make them feel comfortable.
Tell them that no matter what happens, always speak the truth. Tell the parents everything honestly so that if anything goes wrong, you will be there to help them out. Or solve any sort of problem. Give them a surety that you will always be by their side. However, if you find them doing wrong, teach them how to rectify their mistakes. But don’t be too harsh or scold them so bad that they start hiding things from you.
2. Children Learn from Your Actions
We are apt to forget that children watch examples better than they listen to preaching.
~ Roy L. Smith ~
Children tend to learn from the actions more than verbal instructions. Right from the beginning when they are small, do not think that they are so small that they won’t understand the things and all. No! they notice your actions right after they open their eyes. Children start copying their parents. Whatever they see in their surroundings. When they start growing up, you will notice that they are doing things the same way as you used to do.
For example, if they see you throwing wrappers and littering around; they’ll do the same. Then at that point, it would be wrong to get mad at them… Similarly, try to avoid doing any sort of thing that might be inappropriate or wrong. Instead, try to teach them time to time the DOs and DON’Ts by doing the things yourself.
3. Avoid speaking foul language
Oh yeah, this is another important factor which is often neglected or we usually don’t pay attention to. AVOID SPEAKING FOUL LANGUAGE IN FRONT OF YOUR KIDS. Anyhow, speaking a foul language isn’t good for you either. Since we have already discussed previously that children learn through your actions. So language and verbal communication play a vital role in a child’s development.
It is quite possible that at times you’re in anger, or fuming too much that unintentionally you utter an inappropriate word or phrase. But always keep in mind that your child is watching you carefully, and eventually they’ll pick that word. And at the most unexpected place or even at home, they might start calling you by those names or using bad words. So, it’s better to avoid using bad language or bad words, rather keep stopping your child to speak those words.
However, at times they might learn bad words from outside. But again, without fuming in anger or getting mad at them. Just simply tell them that it’s not a good word, or good children don’t say that.
4. Teach Them to Respect Others
Always teach your children to respect others. Again, it all depends on you how you raise them. If they see you talking to your parents, spouse, and other people with respect. They’ll eventually grasp it and absorb that particular attribute. People adore the kids that are well-spoken and give respect to them. Teach your children from beginning to respect their elders and teachers; and other people as well. Whether they have younger siblings, respect is the key factor that binds them together apart from love. And this thing goes a long way, this attribute will be counted in their personal and professional life too. Since the habits which we develop from childhood leaves a strong impression on our personality throughout life.
5. Avoid Hatred – Build Positivity
It is very important for a successful and happy person to be an optimist. Being a parent, you should sow a seed of love and positivity in your child. You should never feed hatred in your child. Similarly, the jealousy factor too. These things destroy your child’s personality and keep them bugging inside due to which they can not live happily and satisfied.
Building positivity in your child helps them to see the world with a broader perspective and they become able to face or cope with any of the situations with much ease. And the people around them adore them and like for their positive attitude. On the other hand, a person who has hatred in their hearts, never see others happy or succeed.
6. Sharing is Caring
While young kids are generous with sharing, it takes a lot of effort into teaching children to share their stuff with others. The best way is to allow your children to perceive themselves as a sharer by presenting them a choice, rather than forcing them. Kids emulate their parent’s behavior so lead as an example to encourage them to share their items with others.
Teaching your children to share at an earlier stage of their lives is essential. It will allow them to settle in school where teachers specifically work on teaching children to be collaborative and sharing. A good trick is always to bring extra snacks and toys, so they don’t feel defensive when asked to share their items with others.
7. Teaching Them Good Habits – Bedtime
According to the research, children tend to pay more attention or have a tendency to listen to things more intensely at bedtime. Speak to them, tell them good things, teach them good habits at their bedtime. Children pay more attention as they are good to go to sleep and not into other things as compared to the day-time.
The things you teach them at bedtime have more impact on their minds. So, sleeping time is the best time to talk to them and memorize the things you want them to.
8. Always Listen to Them
Make a habit to listen to your child what they want to say. Try not to let them go unheard. You know the best part of parenting is that you should develop a bond of love, trust, and confidence with your children. Give your children assurance that you’re here for them to listen, whatever they have to say.
Be a good listener to them so that they can share with you everything. Sometimes children might want to tell you or warn you about some serious happenings. So, don’t surpass them. Also, at times, children turn out to be more reactive and come up with different new things and ideas that work even better than yours.
9. Respect Their Likes and Dislikes/ Choices
You should give importance to your kids’ likes and dislikes. Children, just like us elders, have their own choices, likes and dislikes, and priorities as well. We should respect their choice.
For example, if they like to paint or draw, want to buy stuff related to that. Go ahead and grab some stuff for them. If they are interested in playing with automated vehicles, legos, blocks, and all, let them play. Do not impose your own choices on them. Let them be the master of their own choices. This will boost up the confidence and they will get a free hand to explore and polish their inner skills as well.
Likes and dislikes have a vast domain for them. Whether it be clothes, colors, toys, books, cartoons, outdoor places, or whatever. Give their own choice a bit of space.
The same goes for the food-related things, do not over-impose things on them which they don’t like. However, for food-related stuff, slowly and gradually when they will grow up, their choices might change and differ from what it is used to be now.
10. Do Good to Others
Always teach your children to go good to others. No matter what the circumstances are, you should teach them to always think good for others. To help those in need. One must not think about turning someone down or making feel the other person bad. Neither you should hurt anyone, insult someone, or bully anyone. These are the things you should be reminding your kids now and then.
If we look at another aspect. One thing you can practice from the start is doing charity. By doing this, your child will develop a trait of kindness as well.
11. Provide them a Good and Healthy Environment
It is very important to give your child a healthy and friendly environment at home for their development. Home is the first place where a child learns. So, it is essential to maintain a good environment at home where a child sees only positive things around. A place where everyone lives happily together, helping each other, talking to each other in a good tone.
A house where parents keep on arguing and fighting, with a blame game on; leaves a bad and negative impact on a child’s mental health. To nourish them, a dosage of a pleasant and lively environment is needed.
12. Teach them Good Manners from the Beginning
That doesn’t happen overnight. Yes, if you want to teach good manners to your kid(definitely) you want to take a start from the beginning. You have to be with them and you need to teach them good and bad habits as soon as they start to develop an understanding of the things around them.
Since a child’s mind is like a blank canvas. Whatever you engrave, lasts for a lifetime. So start pouring good habits since the start so that those roots become strong and eventually when they grow up. They have a good understanding of good and bad habits, and manners as well.
If you start neglecting your kids, set them free to do whatever they want, to destroy and throwing up the things, and litter around; they will think that it is completely okay to do so. So, later. It would be of no use to stop them or scold them. Because it was YOUR duty to teach them good or bad at an early stage.
Read the books on good habits, make them watch cartoon series practicing good habits, and so on. Whatever means you think is appropriate. And don’t lose hope if your child is delaying pickup up, they’ll learn one day. It’s just that you shouldn’t stop trying.
No rule of thumb can be followed to teach children the things we want to. For every child, things and methodologies will be different. The points we have stated are the basic ones that worked for most of the parents we have talked about. We would love to hear what additions you would like to make in the above factors. In the end, your child is your responsibility and being a parent, you always want the betterment of your child. We know that you’re doing your level best to make your child the best one. We wish you luck and success, cheers!