The most important thing being a parent you might think is probably how your child will react to the arrival of your newborn. Especially when your little one is your first and only child.
Well, in the past few days, I have been through there. When the arrival of my newborn was expected soon. What I started to do, is to tell my daughter that soon a baby is going to come with which you can play. We started watching the cocomelon series with our daughter, in which kids were playing with their baby, and they were helping out the baby to do different chores and tasks.
Since my daughter was very sensitive, therefore, we had to make sure that we shouldn’t let her feel alone or sided at any cost. Though the newborn needs our time, but still they are small, but on the contrary, our daughter is sensible. She can feel that her time is being divided, attention is being divided, and so on.
We bought new toys for her in advance. We tried to make her feel important and special each day. And for that reason, I started to give her more time than usual, to play games with her, alongside her studies. Together we bought a cot, clothes, and toys for little one, for which my daughter was excited.
Soon the time passed by, and we got another angel in our home. A baby boy. Initially, she was very happy on the very first day. Then on the second day, when the baby started crying at night, and my whole attention was diverted towards him, she said that mama can we please send him back now to the hospital? That was the triggering point for us. We tried our best to give her more time, engage her in some activities. We also allowed a little bit longer screen time for her, installed new games on her tablet, bought her ice-cream, and whatnot.
At last, we had to find a way out, because giving gifts was not the only solution. What she wanted to be our TIME. I started adapting a few tips which helped me a lot and now it’s been 2 months I am seeing the positive results.
- I started involving my daughter in everyday tasks for a baby boy. For example, while bathing him, I asked her help to choose the clothes for him
- I asked my daughter out to show her toys which were attractive and colorful enough to grab baby’s attention
- I made her sit with me when I was carrying a baby, so together we can sing him the poem or a song
- I started to praise my daughter more frequently. Like wow, you are such a nice and caring big sister. How much you care for your baby brother, and so on
- I start to develop positive vibes into her, like see, soon the baby will grow up, and then you two can play together. He will enjoy seeing you building blocks and lego, and stuff like that
- I started telling her that since you are so smart and talented, that you can teach your little brother how to color, read or write. Or how to play with toys etc (either way which she can think she is responsible and very important to him)
Another important aspect is that you should not hurt the self-confidence of your child. And also, you should not lose your control and have to be very persistent. You should try to control your anger as well, and try to avoid scolding your kid for petty reasons.
One important aspect is that a mother, especially after giving birth, has to deal with a lot of things. She goes through a lot of emotions, and hence, has to deal with emotional and physical changes as well. And sometimes the post-partum depression hits hard. But despite all of that, what comes first is your children. This is the time when you need to build up a strong bond between your first child and the newborn.
Pro Tip: Never Tease Your Child
This formula works wonders and I have personally witnessed it working most of the time. NEVER EVER TEASE YOUR CHILD! Yes, you shouldn’t be doing it for the fun purpose either. For example,
– Hey kid, see… if you are not doing this then I will give all the gifts to your baby brother
– See, your mummy loves newborn more
– We will take your baby brother to all the fun places, and we won’t be taking you along
– Don’t touch his toys, they are not yours
These sorts of things develop the jealousy factor in kids, and they will stay in them for the long run. They intend to think that the little siblings are like their enemies. Since they took away their precious time, previously which was all used to be entirely for them. Moreover, all the attention, focus, and priority have been given to the newborns, and they are left overlooked and unnoticed.
So, this shouldn’t be happening. You have to be very careful with every act. Because it will leave a strong mark on your child. Instead, try to build up a happy and loveable relationship between your first child and a newborn. So that your kid starts to take care of their little sibling in all possible and positive ways, and shouldn’t feel jealous of them.
These were the few major things that are supposed to be kept in consideration when you‘re struggling with the introduction of newborn to your elder kid.
Remember, every method and trick are not meant to work for everyone. Perhaps there would be other things that might work for you. You can share the tips that worked for you in the comments section below. So that we can have a look and get more ideas, which will help us to strengthen the bond between the siblings – A toddler and a newborn.